How to Mentor Your Daughter
Notes from a Seminar for Mom’s from September 17th, 2005
How to Mentor Your Daughter?
I. Why mentor your daughter?
A. It is part of God’s natural design for the family
1. The Jewish family unit was designed for mothers to apprentice their daughters in their roles and fathers apprenticed their sons.
2. In addition to apprenticing the daughters the mother often had the primary task of training the children in their Biblical knowledge unless the children had access to a rabbi.
a. Deut. 6:6-9
“These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. [7] Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. [8] Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. [9] Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.”
b. 2 Tim. 1:5
“I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.”
c. 2 Tim. 3:15
“and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.”
3. Jesus commissions us to make disciples in Matthew 28:19-20. Our little precious bundles of joy make prime candidates as they live with us and they can get 24/7 round the clock training.
4. The latest research tells us that an individual’s world-view is shaped and decided between the ages of 8-14.
a. What is going to shape your daughter’s view of the world, herself and God?
(1) TV, Music, magazines, peers, church what ever she spends the most time doing
(2) Will it be you? Read quote page 84 from Keeping our children’s Hearts by Steve and Terri Maxwell who home school 8 children.
5. For their Hearts
a. Galatians 6:7-8
“ Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. [8] The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.”
b. Will we reap someone else sowing our children’s hearts or will we sew them?
II. Benefits to mentoring your daughter.
A. Turn her heart towards Jesus
1. Number one benefit is to have the opportunity to plant seeds, water, fertilize and maybe even harvest the soul of your child.
2. Train her in the ways of Jesus
a. Proverbs 22:6
“Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray.”
3. Ensure their world-view accurately incorporates God – the creator and Lover of her soul.
B. Improves Communication lines between you.
1. A weekly time with your daughter to talk and discuss things, have fun, etc. establishes a forum of trust and communication line with your daughter that will be invaluable as she approaches puberty.
a. Which is the time enemy will send in reinforcements to try and take away everything you have poured into her heart.
b. The enemy delights in placing a wedge between you and your children.
c. The more solid the foundation between the two of you – you are partnering with God so that the enemy will fail.
2. Building the foundation of a future adult friendship
3. Helps ensure her quality time bucket is full! The miles we can get out of a full bucket!
III. How to mentor your daughter?
A. Invite the Holy Spirit into the process.
1. Allow him to guide you.
2. Submit to him acknowledging you can do nothing on your own, but all things through Christ who strengthens you.
3. Ask him to give you scriptures to pray for your children
B. Commitment on your part.
1. You are the one who will need to determine in your heart to schedule, organize, protect, plan and do what ever it takes to make sure you are consistent in having a weekly time with your daughter(s).
2. The younger your daughter is there will be NO resistance from her to spend time alone with her mother – in fact she will remind you.
3. RE: You are the adult it is your responsibility to make sure it happens. God ordained it this way for parents to be in authority over their children.
C. Schedule a time and day and place that you can meet weekly uninterrupted.
1. Breakfast out/ Park
2. Bedroom or other private spot at home - no interruption. No phone calls, etc.
a. Gain the support of dad or other adults to over see other children during this special time.
b. Have a family meeting and inform them of what is going on and the conditions surrounding it – as in don’t bring the phone to mom during that time…
c. Sydney and I took the time during one of our times together to make a cute sign that said NO Boys allowed and we hang it on the door
d. Do while the other children nap.
3. The more daughters – possibly the less time you will have. Minimum 30 minutes. Do them back to back so you can utilize the dad/adult to watch
D. What do we do during our time together?
1. Remember this is intentional time. Pick one of the many resources available and work through it with your daughter
2. Pick a topic or question and discuss bring it up while you are having ice cream, crafting, cooking, etc…
a. Virtue pack for ideas
b. Check bulletin and see what your daughter has been studying and pick a topic from there
3. Reading time – Girls club book and do a chapter
4. Girly craft/cooking
5. Ceramics
6. Younger girls – nail polish
7. Older girls –teach how to put make up on appropriately/modestly
8. Tea Time and treat
9. Multiple resources on the table for continuing time together.
IV. Conclusion
A. God will bless your efforts/Devil will try and discourage you
B. The bottom line is YOU WILL Influence your daughter. The question is How will you do it?
Resources For Mom's
Support for Mom’s
-
Your Girl…Raising a godly daughter in an ungodly world by Vicki Courtney.
- Keeping our Children’s Hearts by Steven and Teri Maxwell. (Order only through Managers of Their Homes – 913-772-0392 or www.Titus2.com)
- The Mother Daughter Legacy by Carole Lewis & Cara Symank
- Wise Words for Moms by Ginger Plowman (www.gingerplowman.com or 334-745-6354)
For Mother/daughter Time try one of these:
- A Young Woman After God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George. (recommended. for 10 and up)
- Beautiful Girlhood by Dean and Karen Andreola. (recommended for preteen 8-12)
- Every Young Woman’s Battle by . (recommended for 13 and up)
- Girls of Grace by Point of Grace. (recommended for 10 and up)
- Growing Little Women by Donna J. Miller and Christine Yount. (recommended. for 7 to 10, May want to consider breaking it up and take two or three weeks to work through one chapter)
- Raising Maidens of Virtue by Stacey McDonald. (recommended for 12 and up)
- Just Mom and Me Having Tea by Mary Murray (ages 7-10 – more than just a tea book)
- A Life of Faith Gazette – Its free and handed out every month at Girls Club – loaded with great ideas for Mom’s and daughters to do together.
GIRLS CLUB RESOURCES – great for Mom’s and daughters to do together
Millie’s Prayer Projects: Fun & Creative Ways to Pray
(Begin reading one of these books with your daughter)
Elsie’s, Millie, Violet, Laylie, or Kathleen book series
