Daring to Wait
As I sit in my favorite writing spot looking out over our lovely backyard which is bursting into full bloom, I realize I am doing so for the last time. Being in a season of not yet has been challenging this past few months as we prepare for our move. Sunday’s sermon hit home and I would like to share with you how some of the points have directly been impacting me.
We are in good company when we are waiting on God. It is hard not to grow weary from grieving, balancing single parenting and baring the load of “to do’s” that accompany a move. Spending regular time with God has been my primary source of strength. One particular morning as I struggled with the ever changing variables in our life like selling our house, contracts falling through, selling again, living among boxes yet trying to maintain a home like atmosphere for our children to finish school well. God led me to Luke 12:6-7,
“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed the very hairs on your head are numbered. Don’t be afraid, you are worth more than many sparrows.”
Living in the not yet is hard, but spending our time waiting with God in His Word is like the much needed rain that has breathed life into our backyard. His Word is timely and reminds us we are not alone. He sees us, knows our pain and most importantly He is right here with us.
Write down the lessons learned along the way. Three days later after God had led me to Luke 12:6-7, I had already slipped back into a funk. Sobbing from the weight of all that was on my plate coupled with the waves of intense grief from leaving relationships of 19 years had overwhelmed me again. That morning, God led me to Matthew 10:29-31,
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows.”
Like a cold bucket of water dumped on my head, I knew I wasn’t getting it and God was graciously repeating to me a message He had already given. I had moved away from recalling the promises God has given me throughout this journey. I have them saved in my notes on my phone so I can recall them at any time. I added the verse about the sparrows and even have a picture of a sparrow as my screen saver to remind me to not be afraid for I am of great value to God.
Writing down verses, truths spoked from devotionals or points from sermons and even songs played at the right time on the radio is super helpful in the waiting room. Then taking the time to reflect on them to remember God’s faithfulness and that He will continue to be faithful. Here are some of the verses God has given me since February (Habakkuk 3:10, Psalms 55:22, Psalm 16:11, Romans 15:13-NLT).
There is a natural delay between planting and harvesting. I grew up on a farm and I would add to this that here is a season that comes between the planting. This is a time where the ground recuperates, rest and the farmer prepares for the next planting season.
This is particularly a tough one for me. When we arrived at South Shore, I was in a season where I had stepped away from fulltime ministry to focus on our family. When Silas was three years old, I felt the release to step back in and it was at that time I became the Women’s Ministry Director. My roles have changed over the years, but it has been an amazing time of planting seeds, nurturing, growing, harvesting and starting the cycle over again. Many retreats, Bible studies, mentoring, and ministries were are part of my life here at South Shore, but what I see when I look back over the years is an investment in people. Pouring out my life into the lives of others using the gifts God has given me to hopefully make a difference in individual’s lives and ultimately His kingdom.
The past several weeks I have had to put on the breaks and redirect my efforts. My season is not productivity and harvest. It is handing off the reigns to others and embracing the unknown of what lies ahead for me in ministry. Accepting this season has not been easy and trusting God that He has a purpose for me is a choice. I choose to believe in my waiting that God will reveal His plan for me in His time, but for now I am in a season of in between.
Spending time with God, remembering His promises and accepting the season I am in has been monumental in my making it through this time of waiting. I am learning that my emotions of sadness and grief of leaving 19 years of relationships is not a reflection of the lack of trust, but rather an acknowledgement that many seeds of relationships and love have been planted through the years. My faith is reflected each time I choose to believe standing on His promises rather than be anxious or fearful, which is a daily choice and sometimes moment by moment.
I pray that if you are in a season of waiting that you will join me in choosing to not be afraid. I pray we will choose to live today knowing the God Who is mindful of every bird in the world and Who knows every hair on my head has our future in His hands. I pray we will choose to live today knowing we are invaluable to God and His love will push out anything that says otherwise. Then together we will dare to wait in faith.
by Janae Shatley Camp